She Speaks We Hear

Bringing women's voices together, unaltered, unadulterated


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A note from the Editor on Child Sexual Abuse

Following the publication of Tameena Hussain’s post on her experience of child sexual abuse, we have decided to write a short note on the issue of sexual violence within Muslim and South Asian communities, in the UK.

Our heartfelt thanks to Tameena for writing this post on her experiences of childhood sexual abuse, and raising much needed awareness of a very difficult issue. Talking about sex is still very much taboo within most parts of the South Asian Muslim communities, and very little is done to raise awareness of sexual abuse and violence. Child sexual abuse has affected many of the women, we have had the privilege of working with at SSWH. These women are more than victim survivors, they are amazingly resilient and strong women who have had their lives forever impacted by sexual violence, some of them often dealing with lifelong consequences on their health and relationships.

Unfortunately for various complex reasons such as stigma, shame, and lack of education, despite this prevalence,  we rarely hear the words “sexual violence” or “sexual abuse”, within community settings and spaces. More often than not victim survivors are victim blamed by family, friends or community members. To compound this victim blaming, with recent high profile child sexual exploitation cases, the discourse on sexual violence has become so toxic that many Muslim women feel scared to reveal or speak up about their experiences, for fear that their experiences and stories will be hijacked.  And used as a tool to further demonise Muslims.

This fear arises from mainstream public discourse within media which portrays sexual violence as a phenomenon that is conducted mostly by Muslim men of South Asian or Pakistani heritage, against young white women and children. The experiences of young South Asian and/or Muslim girls and children is completely erased. As are the violent sexual crimes of perpetrators who are white or European. This perception also exists within political circles and Westminster, as one former government official relayed to us.

So not only are Muslim women being silenced by specific harmful cultural practices within their own communities, they are also being systematically silenced by pervasive public discourse which dehumanises Muslims, and paints them as perpetrators only. This discourse leaks into the psyche of teachers, social workers and mental health practitioners, albeit mostly unconsciously, creating  a bias  that impacts in the way they detect, and respond to victim survivors who are from a Muslim and/or South Asian background. Meaning Muslim girls and young women victims,  remain largely undetected.  And Muslim women who experience PTSD as a result of sexual violence, are often misdiagnosed, with a psychotic disorder or personality disorder.

We all need to do more to break down the taboo around talking  about sex and relationships, and raise awareness of the prevalence of sexual abuse violence within minority and faith communities. Despite the #MeToo and #TimesUP campaigns, media organisations and politicians still have a greater responsibility to discuss this specific type of sexual violence, responsibly, without demonising entire faith/minority groups. Practitioners need to be mindful of stereotypes whilst dealing with South Asian and Muslim communities. A first step to doing this is to step back and listen meaningfully to the stories and experiences of young women like Tameena. Muslim women’s voices should be put at heart and forefront of discussions and debates on sexual violence within Muslim communities.

If you or anyone you know, has experienced or been impacted by any of the issues identified in this blog post please get help by contacting any of the organisations below.

Childline: 0800 1111
Women’s Aid: 0808 2000 247


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I am who I am because I was abused

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(Content warning: this post contains content which some may find triggering)

My labels: troublemaker, Paki-basher, coconut, besharam and the list goes on – all for speaking up against injustice and cultural issues but I am who I am today because I was sexually abused and I now simply refuse to comply with a culture that is complicit.

The first time, you always think, it’s an accident. Then it all changes when you realise what is happening. I remember the first time like it was yesterday. Our house newly decorated, the cricket on and the men of the family all congregated. I was coming down the stairs and there it happened. I brushed it off but that was the start of it all.

Now if you were like me back then, quiet, scared and lacking confidence you were stuck. Who can you speak to? If I speak to my mum, I will be at fault but I’m too ashamed to speak to anyone else about it. So it becomes your secret. The problem with secrets, that it causes long-term pain.

The abuse carried on for years, and although school life wasn’t kind to me it was an escape and I seeked refuge from people I came to trust. As Asian mothers do in their gangs, this gave my abuser the perfect oppportunity to pop round and do what he did. Things went as far coming through the (unfortunately) unlocked garage, coming in through the back garden through the conservatory to upstairs. These are the lengths abusers go to, they don’t care who you are, they have one sick goal in mind.

I will fight like hell to challenge patriarchy, to continue speaking up to help others and to fight for a much needed change.

Fast forward a few years, I begin to rebel. I begin to challenge and I finally refuse to come home from Margaret Thatcher’s funeral in London until my mum tells my brother and my dad. Few days, few weeks pass and my uncles rock up. They cry, they apologise, I’m asked to forget and then they leave. Few more days pass and it’s suggested I travel to Pakistan to get married. Have these people lost their minds? Marriage does not solve the mental torture a survivor goes through. Marriage is not the answer.

Today in 2018, I am married – two and half years at the time of writing this but I’m a staunch feminist. I refuse to be dictated to, I refuse to be told what I can and can’t do and I refuse to participate in culture. I am this person because my culture made me one. I refuse to be a woman who should agree with everything a man says, I refuse to see Mosques as community providers as they’re just as complicit, I refuse to be told I can’t take part in sport because I am a woman, I refuse to be a ‘housewife’ because it’s what is expected, I refuse to sit in silence in shame because I’m not ashamed. Not anymore. I am who I am because I was abused and because my culture failed to protect me. So if speaking out against culture makes me a besharam, a coconut, a Paki-basher then ladies and gentlemen, carry on calling me those names but I did nothing wrong. And I will fight like hell to challenge patriarchy, to continue speaking up to help others and to fight for a much needed change.

By Tameena Hussain
Tameena is an IT engineer by profession but her passion lies in advocating for gender equality and  human rights all whilst being actively involved in her community, having sat on the TVP Independent Advisory Group and the One Borough Council Panel to campaigning on local issues that affect residents. A Pakistani Muslim who is breaking cultural barriers by playing amateur cricket and going against cultural norms to speak out on a number of issues that affect British Pakistanis. She has encountered her fair share of challenges along the way, and as a survivor of child sexual abuse, her experiences have made her determined to challenge the patriarchy and injustice faced by females, particularly within the Pakistani community.
Disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the original author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the website.


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Ofsted, hijabs and the hypocrisy of British values.

 

Apparently, many faith schools do not adhere to British values, states Ofsted in their annual report and little girls wearing hijab are rejecting British values and on the top rung of the ladder down to violent extremism with nebulous references to sexualisation.  Acres of space both in print and on line will be given over to debating Ofsted’s crusade to protect British values.

The Ofsted report is vague about what British values are until this paragraph; ‘Tensions between belief systems and British values create a motivation for some communities to try avoiding the educational and safeguarding standards that are expected of schools. While this manifest itself in different ways, the root cause is the same. This matters, because the British values of democracy, tolerance, individual liberty, mutual respect and the rule of law are the principles that keep society free from the radical and extreme views that can often lead to violence. (16 Annual Report 2016/17: Education, children’s services and skills).

As a parent carer of a disabled child I am more than aware of educational and safeguarding standards that are expected of schools especially in relation to children with disabilities. There are lots of them, The Children Act, Equality Act just two not to mention all the codes of conduct for schools and LEA’s. One thing that has become clear to me over the years and no doubt to hundreds if not thousands of parent/carers is that the education system, many schools, LEA’s and teaching staff have little or no idea about any of this legislation or of their legal responsibilities to disabled children and there is no motivation for them to do so. SENCO’s are supposed to have some training but I have met quite a few who have no idea at all. Even if they have and they are sympathetic this doesn’t mean that head teachers, teachers or governors are. Ofsted’s remit for SEN inspection lacks any real substance or backbone. Schools know they can easily evade their responsibilities.

“They are illegal, but there is little or no redress for parents or children”

The impact on the wellbeing and education of disabled children is of course immense. The abuse of disabled children is a common occurrence in state schools from the denial of an assessment that would enable access to support  right through to children with documented disabilities with EHCP’s/statements  being denied their  needs; children being actively prevented  from accessing medication and apparatus for breathing difficulties for chronic lung conditions, children with physical disabilities being made to take part in activities that will cause them pain, humiliation and make them physically unsafe. The teacher who decides that they know better than the EHCP/Statement and prevents the child with the bladder problems, well documented and advised to have access to a toilet, from accessing the toilet as what they really need is to learn is discipline and being made to wet themselves in class will teach them. The teacher who refuses to implement specialist interventions and strategies simply because they don’t do that. These scenarios, and worse, are played out up and down the UK day in day out. They are illegal, but there is little or no redress for parents or children.

The educational establishment is actively geared up to not respecting the rule of law and indeed to evading it at every available opportunity. LEA’s  employ solicitors  at some considerable cost deliberately to enable them to do so and schools and LEA’s refuse to assess children on a regular basis  or even to implement the  EHC plan a legal document that LEA’s are obliged by law to do. Parents do not get Legal Aid, they are forced to defend their children themselves against these  state institutions with the inevitable impact on family life and the child.  Which brings me onto the Equalities Act (Education). Designed to protect disabled children (and others) from discrimination and promote inclusion; as yet I haven’t found one teacher who had any knowledge of the Equality Act or that it applied in schools. Oddly teacher training does not seem to include knowledge of the Equality Act which is baffling given as teachers and schools have a legal obligation to enact it. Values enshrined in the act such as tolerance, mutual respect and inclusion which are part of the law and British values apparently, are curiously absent from many state schools .

Toby Youngs comments on disabled children from a Spectator article in 2012 went unnoticed until the recent furore over his appointment  to a HE watchdog and the exposing of numerous tweets and articles, in this instance  his opinions on inclusion and describing SEN children as troglodytes. It is difficult not to highlight the fact that if comments like these had been made about children based on their skin colour or gender Toby’s comments would have been picked up on far earlier. The sad fact is many teachers, parents and wider society will tacitly agree with his sentiments; you might even call this a belief system.

It is hardly surprising  that the United Nations has roundly criticised the UK for its failure to uphold it’s own laws. As for tolerance and respect children with disabilities are far more likely to be the victims of persistent bullying in school  and hate crime. But why should children respect or tolerate disabled children when the adults and the state institutions that they represent don’t? Children of course learn from adult role models around them.  The belief systems around disabled children that dominate education provision and indeed government and wider society are as equally insidious as those referred to by Ofsted, as beliefs about disabled children have in the past lead to horrific violence  toward disabled people and it is relevant to note that this abuse was perpetrated by the state even in the UK .

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Ofsted’s head scarf and British values remit is selective and divisive and says as much about the government ‘s agenda toward disabled children as it does about its agenda regarding Muslims, about who it exemplifies as a community incompatible with British values or who at least need educating in them and  a community who is simply excluded from consideration.    It has been widely reported that the Tories want to scrap the Human Rights Act and introduce a British Bill of Rights based on British values – we are seeing evidence already of what this would look like. This dynamic should be ringing alarm bells, it is one that we have seen before in Europe.

Many parents of disabled children now live with constant anxiety and fear for their children’s safety and future at the hands of the state, I like many other parents will wonder when taking their child to school – how will they be treated today, will they be safe? Should I even have them in school any longer?  And if not, then what?

By Mrs Rumiyya

Disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the original author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the website.


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5 Foods Dieticians Swear By

In the run up to Ramadan  our Shiza Khan has 5 top nutritional tips for key foods to include in your diet. 

Have you ever so often looked at the shelves in the supermarkets and marvelled at all the pricey, probably hyped “health products” and wondered if they really do what their claims say?  Quinoa, Amaranth grains, gluten free flours, wheatgrass powders are just the tip of the iceberg. So what is so special about these items that every fitness expert and any person with even a little money to spare will splurge in?

Well for one, they are all packed with nutrients and are beneficial for more than one health condition, so most of those health claims are quite true. Some of these are bursting with antioxidants that have become of primary importance considering the toxins we ingest daily, be it through food or just by breathing. The thing is, that nature is so kind to us that it has spread out these benefits in a lot of other foods that have always been traditionally used, but over time forgotten.

Being a clinical dietitian, I come across clinical conditions that can either completely be healed by nutrition, or need nutrition therapy as an adjunct to medical treatment. Through the process of learning, I’ve discovered a pattern of repeating ingredients that we collectively use over and over. Looking into those individually I’ve found why we do so. So, after much thought, I’ve decided to uncover our trade secrets. Moving on, here are five ingredients we all swear by.

1. FLAXSEEDS

Also called linseeds, these tiny beasts are packed with omega- 3, which are suggested for most conditions like diabetes, liver diseases, renal problems and generally for good health. Omega 3 has anti-inflammatory properties which is helpful in reducing symptoms of compromising health conditions. It is found to be beneficial for people trying to lose weight. Along with the good fats, flaxseed also is a good source fibre, when coarsely ground and consumed in either milkshakes, smoothies, protein drinks, or layered in a parfait. It can be ground to a fine powder and mixed with flours.

flaxseed

Before you jump up to consume it though, note that flaxseed once ground spoils quickly. It is advisable to grind it just before consumption.

2. SOYBEAN

This legume of oriental origin has lately come into the limelight, thanks to all the resources gone into exploring its health benefits. Soybean is available in the market either as the legume, or processed and de-fatted in the form of granules and chunks or as soy milk and tofu. The protein content of Soy with the absence of saturated fats like in meat and other non-vegetarian sources, makes it highly sought out. In fact soybean scores a position among the top five in protein digestibility ratios, and provides all the 9 essential amino acids, which is rare in a plant food, quinoa being the other to do so.

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Apart from its very attractive protein content, soy is also rich in isoflavones, a type of phytochemical that has protective effects for the body. Studies done on Asian populations have shown a positive correlation among women eating soy and the reduction of breast cancer risk (Shanghai Breast Cancer Survival Study).

Soy isoflavones are also phytoestrogens, that the body can use to mimic the functions of oestrogen, and thereby helpful in reducing the symptoms of menopause.

Soybean is versatile in its use, from being ground and used mixed with flour to make multi-grain flour, to being used in desserts. The commercially available chunks and granules are just as versatile as their parent legume.

3. GREENS

Once upon a time mothers used to literally run behind their children, forcing them to eat those greens, and now those children grew up and add raw spinach and kale to their drinks and tonics. Greens have taken a dip and have emerged with a fury back on the health front.

Green Leafies

Now generally, spinach is celebrated for its iron content. Thank Popeye for that! The truth however is, that spinach is actually a very poor source of it. Dill leaves on the other hand have the highest iron content amongst the commonly consumed greens.

Green leafy vegetables however are abundantly rich in fibre, which makes it perfectly suitable for diabetics and beta carotene, making the leafies not only a good source of vitamin A, but also aids as an antioxidant in the biological system.

4. OATS

I know, I know. There’s enough said about oats on the internet, in person, in magazines and books and every possible source of diet inspiration, that is because oats are that multi-functional and are effective as a part of the diet for more than one condition.

Oats

Oats are mostly rich in beta glucans, which is a type of soluble fibre. That is its singular feature that gives it it’s benefit. It helps patients with lipidaemia (abnormal lipid levels in the body), chelates cholesterol (binds to it) and reduces it, aids weight loss, has a low GI and therefore can be included in a diabetic diet, can be used in a variety of recipes and is cost effective. Phew! *grabs a bowl of oatmeal*

5. BERRIES

Berries

Okay, berries are my personal favourite. Just like oats, these are well advocated for their antioxidant content. they protect the body’s cells against damage by toxins and chemical toxins produced during metabolism. Being anti-ageing, cardio protective, great for weight loss and a healthy drink, quirky ingredient for desserts and just an overall package, berries sure will feature on the our foods most picked list.

**DISCLAIMERS**

– Even though the foods have the said benefits, if you have a medical condition, it is highly advised that you consult a doctor or a dietitian before you consume any of these foods.

By Shiza Khan

Shiza Khan is an Indian Muslim Clinical Dietitian with a penchant for health foods, I believe the right food can heal the body, mind and the soul. On a mission to making holistic health a possibility, I can be found devouring books in my free time and sharing my ideas on a little corner of the internet. If you want to read more of her ideas and recipes, visit her blog and follow her on Instagram @cal.conn 

Images credit: Shiza Khan

Disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the original author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the website
If you would like to submit a blog post, sharing your experiences or perspectives, then please email us on shespeakswehear@gmail.com. You can submit poems, short stories or any other type of post! You can also submit anonymously too.


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Trailblazing Muslim Women – introducing Zainab Khan and Maaria Lohiya

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Image credit: Zainab Khan and Maaria Lohiya

We were so honoured and proud to be part of a visual photography series launched by two London-based creatives Zainab Khan and Maaria Lohiya , to showcase and amplify the U.K’s currently lesser known Muslim Women trailblazers.

Beginning the series with 21 inspiring examples featuring : Shahnaz Ahmed (Senior Designer at Livity/Founder at KnitAid), Fatima Zaman (Advocate at The Kofi Annan Foundation), Malia Bouattia (Former President of NUS), Leyya Sattar (Co-Founder of The Other Box and Design Manager at MYWW™ ), Rahima Shroom (Illustrator and Co-Founder of Restless Beings), Nelufar Hedayat (Journalist) and many more, including our very own founder Akeela Ahmed.

Inspired by the squad shoots from The Hollywood Reporter, Vanity Fair and the high profile well known award season ‘Roundtables’ & photoshoots, Zainab Khan, with the help of photographer Maaria Lohiya, produced an inspiring squad shoot featuring 21 like minded Muslim women. The series has garnered mainstream attention and widespread acclaim amongst BME and Muslim online outlets.

So you can imagine our excitement when we were asked to be involved in the series and couldn’t wait to interview these two inspiring creatives who had a awesome vision to create role models for young Muslim women, and went far and beyond to deliver it!

SSWH: So Zainab and Maria please tell us about yourselves – your chance to include anything about yourselves including what’s your background, where did you grow up, age and anything else!

I’m Zainab Khan, 24, a creative based in London. My family moved around a lot growing up so I’ve been lucky enough to call Frankfurt, New York, Toronto and London home. This exposure along with my Pakistani background sparked my interest in cultures early on so I went on to study Archaeology and Anthropology at university, where my dissertation focused on the discussion of aspirations within South Asian women of my generation. After university, I pursued experience in tech, at an e-commerce brand and a fin-tech startup. At the moment I’m working as a freelance digital creative, specialising in Social Media and Community. The projects such as this one is the first in visual series that I’ll be curating this year around cultural issues. 

I’m Maaria, 23, a creative based in London, and have been pursuing my talent and passion for Photography and Videography after graduating from university. You can check out my videos on my youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvB6X59T2Y7gmwHRonitKZg. I created an amazing video for my journey during HAJJ. 

SSWH: How did you come up with the idea for the project to showcase Muslim women?
 

Zainab: Back in January I had been taking in the newly released Forbes 30 under 30 list and I was curious to see how many people of colour, women of colour and Muslims were on the list. And then I thought back to all those times I looked up to these squad images from award seasons, to powerful businesswomen shoots to fashion shoots and I hadn’t seen enough representation, enough of women like me. 

That was it. I had to do it. Everything I had done so far, my dissertation on aspirations of South Asian women, my project @coffeeandhenna and more had led to this in some weird way. It was time to share the badassery of Muslim Women. An Identity that took me a long time to accept. 

SSWH: You kind of answered this already by just HOW important is the representation to you?
 
Zainab: I didn’t quite realise how important representation was for me, I grew up hiding away from my identity but then I started seeing the world around me and didn’t see enough women like me around. Not at university and not in the workplaces I’ve been in so far. It’s so important now more than ever to shoud about our identities. It’s so important to create something for the next generation that we lacked growing up. 
SSWH: What were you and Maaria hoping to achieve with the project?
 
Zainab: I want to amplify the voices of the badass women in London, what they are doing and counter the representation in media. Show the diversity of Muslim women. Inspire the next generation of Muslim women.
SSWH: How has the response been?
Overwhelming, what was a wacky idea that I wasn’t sure I could pull up in so many weeks turned into something very meaningful. From the moment I got in touch with the women for this photo series to everyone I told about the project along the way, they were all like “we need that”.  It’s just so exciting to have all our hard work out there and having people support it. 
 
SSWH: Who or what inspires you?
It’s probably the most cheesy response but everyone around me. First and for most my mother and grandmother, for continuously telling me “you do you” in Punjabi/Urdu before that was a thing. Even though I didnt become a doctor. My family, my father has always been the rock. They always taught us to be independent.
 
There are so many amazing women and creatives I’ve met along the way but the ones that inspire me are the ones that collaborate, that lift people up, that don’t compete with others, and are humble whilst doing groundbreaking things. I have been fortunate enough to meet so many of these people in only the last several months.
 
SSWH: Our last question is what advice do you have for young girls looking to get into photography or advertising?
 
Just go for it. Don’t wait for anyone to give you permission, if you want to do something, just start. If it’s overwhelming and difficult and you want to give up, that’s all the more reason to just get started. It’s the things that matter the most, that are the most difficult to achieve, so keep going. Whatever you want to do, you got this- MAARIA
 Watch the Squad video below:
Thanks so much to Zainab and Maaria for creating the series and answering our questions! The series lives here: http://zainabk.com/trailblazers2018. And you can follow Maaria on Twitter and Instagram @justmebreathing and Zainab on Twitter and Instagram @_zaikhan
By She Speaks We Hear

Image and video credit: Zainab Khan and Maaria Lohiya

 


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Wonder Women Series: International Women’s Day 2018

To celebrate International Women’s Day 2018, we decided to highlight awesome British Muslim women who are making a difference to their communities and the world around them. They are all passionate and dedicated to their causes and campaigns, whether it is using YouTube as a creative medium to navigate taboo and social issues or teaching Yoga to cancer patients. All of these Muslim women deserve to have their work and voices elevated. At She Speaks We Hear, we are all about helping and supporting women to rise up!

Throughout the day we will highlight 10 different British Muslim women on our various social media platforms, facebook page , Instagram @shespeakswehear and Twitter @shespeakswehear – be sure to follow us and the women we profile in our ‘Wonder Women’ series.

Wonder woman Saima Alvi is Vice Chair of British Muslim Heritage centre and a volunteer at her daughters special needs school. 

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Wonder woman Maheen Nusrat is co-founded UpLift Connections @uplift_connections because she believes all women must have financial independence. She is also an avid traveller follow her on Instagram @traveljabi

Maheen Nusrat

Wonder woman Esmat Jeraj  is a community activist and organiser with a special interest in intersectional feminism. Follow her @esmat_j  

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Wonder woman Onjali Rauf  is Founder and CEO of Making Herstory @makeherstory1 a human rights organisation working to end the abuse, trafficking and enslavement of women and girls in the UK. Follow her @onjalirauf 

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Wonder woman Saffana Monajed is the Co-Founder of Project Ribcage @projectribcage . an initiative which aims to elevate the self image of Muslim women. Follow her on Instagram @saffanabanana 

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Wonder woman Tameena Hussain is is an IT engineer by profession but her passion lies in advocating for gender equality & human rights all whilst being actively involved in her community. Follow her @TameenaHussain 

Eid Reception

Wonder woman  Huda Jawad, is a leading community organiser, a British Muslim and a feminist. Huda works to boost the voice of Muslim women, combat domestic violence and build positive community relationships in the UK. Follow her @hudzyboo

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Wonder woman Zahra Awaleh is a chaplain at University College London Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust, where she also teaches yoga and meditation to people living with cancer and red blood disorders. 

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Wonder woman Nabila Pathan also known as Nabz Pat is a creative and YouTuber. Follow her on Instagram @nabz_pat and check out her videos! 

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Akeela Ahmed our founder, co-organiser of the Women’s March London @womensmarchlon  and campaigner. Follow her @AkeelaAhmed and follow us on Instagram @shespeakswehear 

Akeela Fotor

 If you or someone you know, would like to be featured on our website as part of our ‘Wonder Women’ series then please get in touch by emailing us shespeakswehear@gmail.com – don’t be shy! 


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Ummah divided

umma image

The ‘Ummah’; a community of unity, 

our oneness in spirituality;

an entity of faith and loyalty 

in serving God and humanity.

But is this just a fantasy of harmony? 

Will we wake from this reverie

to see 

a fragmented 

Ummah 

in disunity;

the sects, cultures, nationalities:

different practices in seeking

the same God and sacred purity

from the same Quran devotedly;

 

so what of the non-Sunnis: Shi’a, Ahmedi,

the mystic Sufis; what of the minorities

reciting la ilaha illallah

with undeniable fluency?

 

What of the women breaking boundaries 

beating patriarchy, misogyny, 

aspiring to be like Khadija, Ayesha; 

their strength and autonomy?

What of our brothers and sisters

trapped in a man-made hierarchy 

of race and class; left unforgivably

oppressed for their God-given reality?

When will we stop this wholly unholy

tyranny with no divine authority, 

politically, physically, emotionally 

harming each other in this Ummah divided.

Where is the solidarity?

By Hanain B

 

Hanain is doing a PhD in Applied Linguistics at Newcastle University, focusing on interactional identity construction in Muslim women. When she is not nerding out on her research, she likes writing poetry and dabbling in photography as a hobby. She also runs a small-scale project with a couple of friends called Project Happiness, distributing food & care packs to the homeless. You can follow her on Twitter @hanainbrohi 

Image credit: http://jworldtimes.com/jwt2015/magazine-archives/jwt2016/november2016/responsibilities-of-muslim-ummah-in-the-modern-age/
Disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the original author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the website
If you would like to submit a blog post, sharing your experiences or perspectives, then please email us on shespeakswehear@gmail.com. You can submit poems, short stories or any other type of post! You can also submit anonymously too.


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1400 years on is Islam anti-Feminist?

Have you also had your muslim uncles and aunts ask you why you don’t wear a hijab ? Has it made you want to punch them ? Has it made you want to scream out loud and wish eternal sufferage on them ? Yeah, welcome to this post where we can collectively rage about this ish and rejoice in the company of like minded people !!!

I started wearing a hijab around four years ago and since then, the pressure to cover up has been ginormous on my mother and sister as well. WHICH IS SO POINTLESS. It’s never enough that one of my mom’s daughters decided to wear hijab, her younger one needs to wear one too ! What is this pressure ? Why does it exist ? You know what the worst part is ? THAT NONE OF THEM WEAR A HIJAB THEMSELVES !!!!!

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As I was growing, the idea of Feminism was catching on (yeah, that’s how young I am.) There was also another idea catching on… that Islam is Anti-feminism. THIS idea, unlike the first one, did not sit well with me. I belonged to a muslim family ! And my muslim parents had sent me alllll the way to the Land of the Free, while they chilled in Bahrain ! To study. All alone ! No questions asked, despite the worries of the society (we are Indians by birth) and despite knowing the crap that they would have to deal with, in the coming years.

I was at full liberty to do whatever I liked, dress however I wanted to, basically everything people claim muslim women can’t do. This is probably the MAIN reason I started Hijab. One fine day out of the library, I thought to myself… what must it be like to actively LOOK like a muslim in this post 9/11 world ? Is it time to conduct yet another social experiment ? Though what might have started as an experiment, stayed on because of the extensive research that went behind the idea, until I was convinced that this is how I want to look – like an educated MUSLIM woman, in everyday life. Leading a normal life, quite contrary to popular belief. Proving people wrong when they say “All muslims ever think about is world domination !” Hell yeah I think about World domination – excuse me if I want to be Beyonce (Who run this mother-?)

To me, Hijab was my own idea of Feminism. No woman in my family covered her hair when I started. I was deliberately making the choice of wearing the Hijab. Just like women everyday decide what to wear, what to do with their hair and how to accessorize every outfit. Hijab was going to be my accessory. If you really think about it, it IS just a scarf ! And I don’t even want to get into the whole ‘modesty’ debate. Or the whole candy wrapper and flies comparison.

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WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS EVEN MEAN ? How did this manage to make it to the list of top forwards by muslim uncles on whatsapp ? Why is this okay to propogate ? How dare you call women lollipops – covered or uncovered. In a normal situation, I would even protest calling men flies, but I mean just for this post… they deserve it !

Just as you have no right to tell a woman to not wear a headscarf, you have no rights telling her to wear one either ! This shouldn’t be so hard to understand ! Don’t believe me?  Maybe Prophet Mohammad will help convince you otherwise.

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Islam does not oppress women, muslims do. Islam, gives women the rights to education, work and even driving (I know right ?) Just to name a few of the things women are ‘allowed’ to do in Islam. Where has this regressive mentality come from ? Why are we, as a community, so hell bent onto proving to the world that we stand for anti feministic principles ? Where is the pride in that ?

We are a religion coming from a man who married his widowed boss, after she proposed to him, despite being 15 years older to him – if that doesn’t scream feminism, then I don’t know what does.

by Sharmeen Kidwai

Sharmeen is a 25 year old medical graduate, which makes her a doctor. She graduated in 2016 and has since moved to India, with her husband (2017). She is a Canadian by nationality, but was raised in the middle east for most of her life. She has always loved to write. Only recently though she has realised she can make a difference by choosing her words just right. She says she is “trying to do my bit for the world and those in it, little by little!” 

Disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the original author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the website
If you would like to submit a blog post, sharing your experiences or perspectives, then please email us on shespeakswehear@gmail.com. You can submit poems, short stories or any other type of post! You can also submit anonymously too.


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10 Examples of Everyday Sexism in the English Language

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The other day I was talking to an acquaintance about a trip he took abroad and the difficulties he’d faced. However, the conversation left me with a niggly unpleasant feeling. You see, as a woman – despite his best intentions – I’d found the conversation offensive. How? Well, it was with one little phrase: “I was such a girl!”

By attempting to describe himself as impatient, scared and moody whilst abroad , he was equating masculinity and “acting like a man” with strength and women and “femininity” with weakness. For someone to unintentionally perpetuate negative sexist stereotypes through a very common expression, sadly shows just how deeply engrained sexism is in our society. This got me thinking about the many other sexist expressions that we (yes even me!) commonly use.

As both men and women, we need to identify sexist language and call it out for what it is. So, here’s 10 more examples of everyday sexism in English.

1. To man up

Telling someone to “man up” means what you’re actually saying is that “being a man” means being “strong”, fearless and confident. You’re saying that men should not show and feel (perfectly normal) emotions. You’re in fact discouraging a sense of positive masculinity and declaring that women are instead weak, over-emotional, scared and un-daring!

2. To grow a pair (of balls)

Women don’t need male genitalia to be strong – despite what the opposite rather vulgar “female equivalent” of this expression would imply! A person is strong irrespective of their gender/sex. We are all on various journeys and paths of development and there are many kinds of strength (emotional, physical, spiritual) which are also irrelevant to sex/gender.

3. To be a sissy

This horrible expression is both sexist, homophobic and transphobic. By calling a man a “sissy”, you’re referring to him as feminine (female-like), “unmanly”, weak and cowardly, as opposed to an apparently strong, brave, “rugged” male specimen…

4. Man and wife

 

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Announcing that the woman is the man’s “property” (instead of declaring “husband and wife”), this expression is thankfully nowadays less common than it used to be. In other languages however such as French, the term “femme” meaning “woman” is still commonly used to refer to your wife. So, it’s not just here. Equal partnerships folks!

5. Maiden name

I won’t get into whether a woman should or shouldn’t change her surname when getting married. What I will say is that the term “maiden name” is incredibly patronisingly sexist. A “maiden” is an outdated term referring to a young (teenage-ish), “innocently naïve” unmarried woman (usually a virgin). This old-fashioned term implies women should be married at a young age and that women above a certain age are “past it”. No. Women have the right to get married whenever they like and should not be defined by their marital status.

6. To wear the trousers in the relationship

Trousers are traditionally associated with masculinity as in earlier days they were only worn by men (when women were seen as men’s property). However, many women now choose to wear (or not wear) trousers, men also don’t own women and nor should women seek to dominate men. A couple is (supposed to be) an equal team made of two individuals with their own strengths and flaws, complete with dialogue, consensus and compromise.

7. Man flu

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Does the man flu even exist? I’m sorry fellas but this just wreaks of a sense of self-entitlement. Women and men both get colds and the flu. The flu is completely debilitating – a cold is not. Don’t shoot me here but women often have more household and childcaring responsibilities and I for one know that when I’m run down I get ill. Male or female – deal with your health issue and if it really is the flu then rest but please don’t make everyone else suffer!

8. Sew your wild oats

The age-old double standard of “sew your wild oats” legitimises male promiscuity and objectifies women as sex objects. Women instead who do the same are however called all number of derogatory names. I’m not here to comment on people’s own sexual behaviour but to point out that there is a clear double standard here. “Sewing your oats” is portrayed as some kind of masculine biological-anthropological “natural need” even in the 21st century.

9. Boys will be boys

Parents and relatives may say: “Ah well, boys will be boys” to excuse all manner of things at any given moment (usually during their youth). At the same time, the same would not be said for the girls. Using this expression implies that men can do X, Y Z freely but girls must not. Once again, there’s a clear double standard here.

10. To get your knickers in a twist

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Going back to number six and the stereotype of men as strong, dominant and independent, knickers (a female garment) are instead associated with awkward moodiness, over-sensitivity and irrationality. Men obviously have their own undergarments and as with examples 1 and 2, are portrayed as strong, emotionless, brave specimens in their masculinity in the crudest of terms!

So, there you have it. This language ultimately boils down to a sexist, misogynistic dichotomy of:
Male / man / masculine = strong vs. Female / woman / feminine = weak

Well, let me tell you this: women are strong. We all have emotions and how we feel is certainly not a “weakness”. Every human being is an individual and we should not to be defined by our martial status, age, gender etc. So please, let’s avoid such sexist language and spread a more positive egalitarian message!

By Elizabeth Arif-Fear

Elizabeth Arif-Fear is a writer/blogger, development professional and human rights activist. As founder of “Voice of Salam” (Voice of Peace), Liz writes on a range of social, political, human rights, intercultural and interfaith issues, aiming to spread a message of peace, tolerance and unity. Liz is particularly passionate about addressing key issues affecting women, children, refugees, migrants and ethnic minorities and addressing both extremist and Islamophobic rhetoric.   You can follow her on Facebook @VoiceofSalamand on Twitter @Voice_of_Salam

Disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the original author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the website
If you would like to submit a blog post, sharing your experiences or perspectives, then please email us on shespeakswehear@gmail.com. You can submit poems, short stories or any other type of post! You can also submit anonymously too.


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Veganuary: vegetarianism and Islam

There is almost always an ongoing debate as to which dietary choice reaps the most benefits. While vegans argue that their lifestyle is of value and is environment friendly, non-vegetarians strike back with the argument that it is severely lacking in a lot of nutrients.

Islam, as we all know, isn’t merely a religion. It is a way of life. What do I mean by that? Simply that there are clear guidelines already set for us. What to eat, how to eat, what to wear, what not to, what is considered healthy (physically and spiritually) and the list goes on. Seriously, if you ever have any doubt about how to do a certain thing, or whether or not to do it at all, rest assure that it’s already been made clear.

Moreover, if animals are to be considered as communities just like ours, is it then fair for us to raise and breed them for the sole purpose of commercializing them?

 

With regards to food, most people believe, and I know this for I’ve been told many a times, that if you’re a Muslim, you MUST be eating meat everyday right? I mean come on, are you really taking full benefit of the fact that you’re actually prescribed to eating non veg? So let me burst all your bubbles. We are actually advised AGAINST eating meat on regular basis. (Collective gasps.) It’s true. In the Quran it is said,

“And there is no creature on [or within] the earth or bird that flies with its wings except [that they are] communities like you”….. (6:38)

and at another place it is mentioned:

“Eat and drink from the provision of Allah, and do not commit abuse on the earth, spreading corruption.”… (2:60)

To anyone unfamiliar with the meanings of these verses, it indicates towards wasteful consumption, which frankly is what the meat industry has become today. Moreover, if animals are to be considered as communities just like ours, is it then fair for us to raise and breed them for the sole purpose of commercializing them? Of course the meaning of “Eating and drinking from the provisions of Allah” denotes that while it isn’t absolutely wrong to consume meats and such, it is definitely not within the principles of Islam to abuse the animals and overkill them.

There are plenty of Ahadith that point towards the tradition of the prophet and his companions following a semi vegetarian diet and treating meat as a luxury as opposed to a necessity. In fact when Umar Ibn Al Khattab (RA) became caliph, he prohibited people from eating meat two days in a row, stating that “meat has an addiction like wine”. Science point of view, meat is definitely more difficult to digest as compared to eating other vegetarian foods, this causes increased lethargy to perform any duties, which was severely disliked. It had also been discovered only in these past few years, that eating fewer calories not only helps the body function better, but improves quality of life and improves longevity.

It is mentioned that the Prophet (pbuh) has been reported saying “Man does not fill a container more evil than his belly. It is sufficient for man to eat that amount which straightens his back [i.e. a few morsels to gain some energy]. If this is not possible then a third for food, a third for drink and a third for air” (Sunan Tirmidhi, Hadith: 2380 and Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith: 3349)

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Therefore it is evident that while it is not been forbidden to eat meat, over consumption doesn’t particularly fit in with the ethics of Islam either. Of course, I am not trying to establish that one MUST become a vegetarian, however, it very essential to revive the sunnah of our beloved Prophet in order to lead a righteous lifestyle in accordance with Islamic principles. Making sure the food we eat is Halal tayyib should be of primary importance to every Muslim, as should abstaining from things that have been prohibited or disliked by Allah and our beloved Prophet (pbuh).

So, if you feel like it makes sense to adopt a vegan lifestyle (and I mean not just in terms of food, but otherwise ethically as well), then you should totally go ahead with it. Even if it is for a few days. However, nutritionally speaking, do make sure you do adequate research before you jump on the bandwagon, if only to avoid the nutritional deficiencies that might easily occur.

I have tried my best to authentic as best as I can all the sources of the Ahadith, as well as the translation of the verses. If however, I have made any error in my interpretation, feel free to correct it.

By Shiza Khan

Shiza Khan is an Indian Muslim Clinical Dietitian with a penchant for health foods, I believe the right food can heal the body, mind and the soul. On a mission to making holistic health a possibility, I can be found devouring books in my free time and sharing my ideas on a little corner of the internet. If you want to read more of her ideas and recipes, visit her blog and follow her on Instagram @cal.conn 
Disclaimer: the opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the original author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the website
If you would like to submit a blog post, sharing your experiences or perspectives, then please email us on shespeakswehear@gmail.com. You can submit poems, short stories or any other type of post! You can also submit anonymously too.
Images credit: Veganuary.com and @cal.conn