She Speaks We Hear

Bringing women's voices together, unaltered, unadulterated

Power from the Pain

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Ice cracks

Thawing

Cold that was

But is there

No

More.

 

Torture and nightmares

Panics and horror

Irrationality

Loss – identity

Loss – confidence

Loss – reality

Crisis

 

The continuous cycle is

Paused

 

I breathe normally

Sensations come back

The ice within is consumed into water

 

I am controlled by me

No-one else

But by me

 

The cracks continue

The ice breaks down

It takes time

But I am happy to wait

 

Pain horror nightmares terror loss confusion crisis injustice disgust

 

A mixture bubbling under the surface

Behind the pretend face

The face that smiles

While the other one cries

 

I am happy to wait

Because I see its worth

To wait to know

To meet myself again

To know it is OK

 

I am in control

No-one else

But me

 

What I am is what I decide

What I want to be I can

Nothing is decided

Life can change

I can be free

 

I am in control

No-one else

But me

 

Pain horror nightmares anguish confusion terror loss injustice disgust violence

 

Never would anyone deserve these things

 

But they have happened

They happen all the time

And they have happened to me.

 

I understand now

I can say ‘I know’ and

Really know

What pain is

I can find the strength that was there all along

And use it

 

Enjoy it

 

I will know all these things and I will know it is there

 

I am in control

No-one else

But me

 

We change all the time

Time shifts with us

The same cannot really exist

Events will pass

 

Horror and ecstasy

 

Flash

 

Before us

I can see I can move

Through time itself

Tick past the horror

Tock past the nightmares

They will not stay with me forever

 

I am free

I can be who I want to be

I always could

But now I know

That I could

And should

 

We all deserve the same

 

When I say ‘I know’

now

I really know what pain is

It will define the other

The real happiness

 

I am free

Nightmares end when you wake up

I will not sleep forever

 

I will open my eyes and see

How I can make the world work for me

I will know it is OK

 

I am in control

No-one else

But me.

 

By Chloe Knibbs

@ChloeKnibbs1

Since Chloe was little she has always loved words and stories, and has written poems since she can remember! She is also a composer and singer-songwriter, and loves using music to help and inspire people.
Image credit: David Kingham
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Author: She Speaks We Hear

Bringing women’s voices together, unaltered, unadulterated. Platforming stories and experiences of Muslim women, so they can own their narrative.

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